My Mom always used to tell me that it didn’t matter what time it was, getting that first foot out of bed was always the hardest part, but once you did that, it was smooth sailing. Mom’s thing was that she needed to work out everyday. This was not only her passion, but it was part of her. When she didn’t get her work out in, she wasn’t herself, and she knew it. She would do everything she could to fit her workout in. Even if that meant waking up at 5 in the morning after staying up late to chat with my Dad after he got home from work. She was always working towards being the best version of herself so she could be there for the people she loved.
I’ve been struggling to get out of bed in the mornings. I’m not sure if the root of the struggle is my depression, my grief, or a combination of the two. Regardless, I’ve been working to combat my overwhelming lack of motivation.
First, I started playing the Hamilton soundtrack… from bed. With my Amazon fire stick, I can pull my app up on my phone and tell it to play the soundtrack, and it does! It’s glorious. I’d typically stay in bed, catching up on social media, until the Schuyler sisters sang. It felt like it was too long to lay in bed, but my friends expressed how they wished they could do the same thing. I guess it’s normal.
Regardless, I wanted to be more productive.
Then, I started tutoring in the mornings again. Getting up and getting to tutoring is still a challenge, but I’m in good company with my tutoree. We work together three times a week before she goes to school and before I go to work. This gave my daily schedule more consistency and brings me so much joy. It’s hard to get there in the mornings, but I leave each session with such a feeling of pride and accomplishment. Seeing the strides she makes is incredible. I really love what I do.
But, there was still something that was missing.
Recently, I’ve decided to bribe myself. My local coffee shop (I love saying this) is the absolute best. Not only do they make the best salted caramel almond milk latte, but the people are the kindest and the atmosphere is perfect for my creative blogging brain. I’m not sure how good it is for my wallet, but my goal is to get here each day to enjoy a cup o’ joe and blog. Since I’ve been doing this, there has been a lightness in my soul.
I just have to wonder to myself if it’s worth it. My coffee is about $5 a pop. That’s $35 a week and $140 a month. I tried to put it in perspective:
I live alone and I work nearly 10 hours a day. Seeing the people here gives me a sense of community in my town. I need that human connection.
My goal is to blog every day so I can grow my business. When I am at my bungalow, I am so easily distracted, so the blogs don’t get written. Being at a coffee shop forces me – in the most gentle way- to focus on my writing.
I’ve noticed that when I do blog, my brain and my heart are at such a greater place of peace. It’s like all the emotions and thoughts that have been swirling and tumbling around in me are released in a beautiful didactic way. This give me a great sense of satisfaction and confidence.
Last, but not least, this coffee shop is a local business in which the owner works. I have such a passion for supporting local. Because my Dad owns restaurants, I know first- hand the blood, sweat, tears, and teamwork that goes into running such a business. Being able to support these ladies makes me feel incredible. And in return, they appreciate me. Just because I buy coffee. It’s simple.
My Dad has always said, it’s not about what you make, it’s about what you keep. If I can’t afford this expense in my life right now, then something is wrong. I need this time and experience for my sanity and happiness; being here is like a hug for my soul.
Last night I realized that I would have to wake up early for a Saturday if I was going to make it to my favorite spot. It was a no brainer. I got here. I had my coffee and my day is off to a great start.
While I wish I could have the same passion for working out as my Mom did – she was in the best shape of any human I’ve ever known – I know that this is the equivalent for me. I’m still working on going to the gym everyday, but I’m taking this one small, bold step at a time.
We are all a work in progress.